A testimony to God's redeeming love

This is long overdue...

Today at Imago Dei ( the community of folks I do life with...some call it church, ha) Charlie talked about JOY. And he read James 1:2-4 and spoke of the tension we have in finding joy in the tough times/trials and what exactly that means. i feel like i UNDERSTAND it...specifically because of what i've gone through in the last year. Many of you know this has been a RIDICULOUS year for me in terms of life situations and in terms of spirtual/emotional growth and maturity. And I want to take just a second to reflect on how GOD was IN that and thank all those who have been a part of helping 2008 go from the worst year of my life to perhaps the best year of my life...

James 1:2-4

"Consider it PURE joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

consider it it pure joy when you face trials?

As Charlie said, "Really?"

You can't be serious James. You obviously have noooo idea what i've been through!

My dad just died of cancer...PURE joy?
My car was just totaled...PURE joy?
I was just diagnosed with a particular disease...PURE joy?
My relationship/MARRIAGE has failed...PURE joy?
He/She wronged me...PURE joy?
I just lost my job...PURE joy?
I have no food to eat and no place to lay my head...PURE joy?

(FYI not all of these things happened to me..some are just examples)

The list goes on...and James tells us to consider those things and still be joyful. Now as Charlie talked about this I couldn't help but think of redemption. We serve a God of redemption. I'm sure that as Christ was being led to the Cross and as they beat him and flogged him he wasn't thinking what a joyous occasion that was. Joy is NOT necessarily happiness or a good time. Joy is not SITUATIONAL. but even though Jesus was going through all that he knew what as going to come on SATURDAY. He understood that even though he felt that way then, that God had a plan, all He had done through Jesus and taught through Him up to that point would culminate on the cross and then in his resurrection and at Pentecost, there was hope in what was to come and IN THAT, he could find JOY.

God WILL REDEEM.

The joy I have is deeply connected to the REDEMPTION I have experienced IN ME. 6 months ago I couldn't have told you how things would get better. no clue. in fact at that time i felt like things would never get better. now you have to understand that God didn't FIX the problem that was at hand. i didn't understand why not. But now as I look back i can see how God began to REDEEM me despite the problem. That's usually how God works. We tend to expect HIM to always FIX things. But sometimes life and our brokenness and others freewill and our own (which He will ALWAYS honor) don't allow for the fixing of life's problems but if we allow Him to, God will REDEEM US internally. we trust that SATURDAY will come. Charlie said that a theologian calls it,

"the eschatological expectancy of joy"

which is a fancy way for saying that IN Christ we have this assurance that in the future (eschatology) things will be better (redeemed).

James is helping us understand that just because we are IN Christ and have committed ourselves to Him DOES NOT guarantee that bad things won't happen to us. (don't by into that prosperity gospel/happy happy happy/ best life now BULL %$*@) Life is messy. Bad things WILL still happen to us. But when they do, are you gonna let it ruin you or let it shape you. it's going to do either or. there is no in-between. and James encourages us to consider those things PURE joy because God is going to redeem you on the inside! there is JOY in that! Let those things makes us mature! Persevere because SATURDAY is coming...REDEMPTION is on it's way!

I can't tell you how things exactly got to where they are for me today but I can look back over this last half-year and see how God orchestrated things around me and in me that have truly REDEEMED me and given me HOPE. There is SO MUCH JOY in that. I could not have done it without him and the people around me. Charlie said that the mark of believers, those who claim to follow Christ, is that when the pooh hits the fan ( he didn't say that, i did), we still remain faithful to Him and seek Him. We don't let life's circumstances knock us off track in our pursuit of and partaking in the "upside-down kingdom". I couldn't have remained faithful without the community of those around me...

Jeff, I miss the heck out of you. thank you for being there for me. for crying with me, listening to me, letting me get angry and say things I didn't mean, for loving me, giving me hope and making me laugh. I don't know what I would have done without you there. Jessey, thanks for being there too and letting me steal jeff's time during that time! come home soon!!

Eric, thanks for also being there for me during that time. Quite a time for you to first meet me :) thanks for your love and grace and time to listen to me as well. I'm so glad you're around and that our friendship has grown.

John, thanks for your love for me and for your conversations that have helped me understand God so much more. I love you brother! thanks for all you did and continue to do in my life.

charlie, thanks for your grace and love. for meeting me for breakfast when you didn't even know me and for listening to my heart and my brokenness and for helping me realize that SATURDAY is coming. Thanks for Imago Dei and your leadership there...you have NO idea how good it feels to be a part of a church like what we have going on there. brilliant and beautiful!

small group, thank you guys for your love and your listening ears to me as well over the past 6 months. i love all of you so stinkin' much!

Greg and Ryan, you guys are two of the best guys in all of the land. i'm so glad God brought you two in my life when he did. amazing how God works. i value our conversations so much and i'm so glad we can not only grow together in our spiritual lives but we can have a heck of a good time together too. you two better stay in my life forever, i love you both.

ZuZu, i'm glad you're back in my life too. you have a heart of freakin' gold and I loooove it. you teach me a lot about God's love! and it's nice to have such a like-minded friend. i don't care what people say about your browness, i love you.

Kami, thank you for giving me a chance even while knowing everything. i'm so thankful for you and CAN'T wait to get to know you more and for everyone around me to get to know you more! you are so full of grace and love and gentleness and innocence and joy! you've sparked more hope in me! Thanks for letting me be me and enjoying it!

Rob Bell, don't act like you don't read my blogs! Thanks so much for your books and podcasts! God has used you to encouarge me many many times and have helped me a great deal how I understand the God we serve...and it makes me LOVE him MORE! Thanks for your insight! someday i wanna be you! not in a weird idolatrous kind of way but ya know...insightful, hip, full of love, grace, and peace, and helping people see and understand God in ways that help them love and appreciate him more!

and to my family (most likely you won't be reading this but ya know..props to you anyways) and everyone else thanks so much for all your love and grace!

So, anyone who is reading this and has gone through a crap time or is going though one, KNOW that you can find joy WITHIN you no matter what because REDEMPTION is coming! The situation may not play out like you'd like it to but if you allow God to work in you, He will! The time table may be different for everyone but over time you will be able to look back and see how God worked everything out and you will be able to see what He's done IN you and THROUGH you...

"And we know that in ALL things God works for the GOOD of those who LOVE him" Romans 8:28

There is JOY in that!

Grace and Peace,